Are we missing something in our lives?

 How much time do you spend at your computer/TV? How much time to you give to social networking or gaming? How often do you look at your mobile phone to check if you have received a message? Do you feel you ‘must’ have that new mobile phone? Are you addicted to the screens in your life?

Addiction means you cannot do without it, it means you want more, it means you cannot stop yourself, in fact, your will is gone.

More than this how do we help our children, teenagers and young adults negotiate this new, seductive temptress who has swept into our lives in the guise of technology?

TV is great it keeps the kids quiet, helps them learn and we can just tune in, turn off after a stressful day. TV has been shown to dumb down children, lessen their creative nature and make them accustom to violence in many different forms. Did you know that children’s programmes could have up to 20 violent incidences an hour? It is interesting that our children (and ourselves) are being programmed through programmes. Are we missing something in our lives?

Computers have been heralded as the ‘must have’ PA, a world wide web connector, communicate with anyone, anywhere, the study companion, an incredible learning tool but what of going to a library and searching for books, what of the completely soul enriching moment that a child (or an adult) watches as a seed grows, from being watered and nurtured. Verses the 2D, uninspiring, comic like, computer-generated seed ‘growing’. Are we missing something in our lives?

Social networking makes us feel important and heard. We can be the most funny and the most intelligent person we know. How enthralling is that? How can you not want more? For a child to navigate this when their will is still developing is difficult, hey, for adults if is extremely hard to begin to even look at this as an issue. Children are often exposed to age inappropriate images and information on social networks and incidences of bullying are on the increase. This can lead to great anxiety and confusion for the child. Are we missing something in our lives?

What happens to you when you play a computer game? Total absorption, nothing else matters…’just one more level, got to get a better score’…. Your fight or flight response is turned on, even though you do not move, well your eyes and fingers at most, your body begins to react to the stimulus of the game. Violent games…well it is no wonder children are restless and aggressive when they have turned of the screen. Are we missing something in our lives?

Can you leave your mobile phone behind? Can you even find the off button? You are never alone with your mobile phone and neither can you be bored, what with all the games and Internet access to boot. Not only should we think about the above information in relation to mobile phones but also the numerous studies regarding the potential health risks of using a mobile phone: some say there is no harm others that there is much harm. The balance here is there probably is some harm. Suddenly a mobile phone is not only a communication tool but also an accessory, you must have the ‘right’ one, of course. Are we missing something in our lives?

Well yes I think we are all missing something in our lives: be it deep connections, a feeling of being seen, heard, valued, being loved, listened to, understood, supported, relieved of boredom, loneliness, anxiety the list goes on and on. We as adults and parents have to find our own inner resources to cope with our own addictions, even begin see them as addictions: we need to find our own will. In that moment we can help our children and others with this not-yet-known-how-much-it-affects-us technological world. We have to start with ourselves and by going deeply into our own relationships with this world and why we have become addicts ourselves.